It has officially been one week since my last pump and I think my boobs have received the message. I have had a little tingling and pain, but nothing concerning–no issues. So thankful. Headaches have been sporadic and not as severe. Again, so thankful. Also…sad.
Breastfeeding has been such a spiritual journey for me. First of all, with our “difficulties” at the beginning, I had to make some big choices for myself, my body, our family, and for Millie. Making the choice to pump and to really commit to that gave me a sense of agency in my mothering that I carried into other areas of my life. Pumping can be difficult physically, mentally, and logistically but surrendering to the process and figuring out how it worked for us was a major lesson in mindfulness.
Perhaps most amazingly, breastfeeding brought me out of my mind and into my body. It connected me to the Earth. It connected me to a powerful energy of creation. It taught me that I have been not only a receiver of this energy, but a generator of it. It taught me that we are all connected and I am a part of it all in this body.
Breastfeeding has been magical. It has sat my butt down firmly in the dirt and shown me how this energy all works. I am so grateful for that and I hope I can pass some of that knowledge to sweet Millie as well, even as this phase of our relationship ends